All parts of you have a positive intention, it's just that the strategy they've chosen to achieve that positive intention, is no longer working.
Self sabotage comes about when 2 or more parts of you, which may have the same overall intention, are using different methods to achieve that outcome. This means, that as one part of you is succeeding in its aim, another part will try and succeed in its aim, but in a different way. This results in the familiar, push/pull, stop/start of self sabotage.
It is possible to work with the part of you that is holding on to the old redundant behaviour, to create more useful, more effective and more creative strategies to achieve the same positive outcome, without creating the battle.
Identify an area where you're self sabotaging, or procrastinating. Look for the two opposing strategies, e.g. "I want to get that flyer out, so my business is successful," as opposed to, "I don't want to do that flyer",
You get the idea?
There are many ways to work with self sabotage and one of the simplest is to have a conversation with the two opposing parts. The parts are so used to you fighting them and/or trying to ignore them that this can be surprisingly successful.
Scale the resistance to doing what you really want to do.
Start tapping.
Even though part of me wants to .......Your words ...... And part of me doesn't, I deeply and completely accept both those parts.
Even though part of me wants to ....... And part of me doesn't, I deeply and completely accept both those parts, because they're doing the best they can.
Even though part of me wants to ....... And part of me doesn't, and they're doing the best they can and it's not working, I deeply and completely accept both those parts, anyway.
Head - Doing the best they can
Beginning of Eyebrow - And it's not working
Side of eye - I love and accept them anyway
Under eye - Part of me wants to,
Under nose - And part of me doesn't
Chin - They're OK anyway
Collarbone - And I'm OK
Under arm - I'm doing the best I can too.
ET Those parts want the best for me, I'm OK
ET It's likely that both parts want me to be safe and happy, I'm OK
ET both parts want me to be safe and happy and they're going about it in different ways, I'm Ok and so are they, and we're all doing the best we can.
Wanting me to be safe
Wanting me to be happy
In different ways
I thank them for that
And I'd like to invite them
To consider
Whether that job might be easier
If they found a new way to work together
ET both parts want the best for me in their different ways, I love and accept them
ET both parts have been using lots of energy battling with each other, they're OK
ET both parts have been battling, I'd like them to consider getting together and discussing new ways to work together that will fulfil both of their positive intentions, in a safer and healthier way than fighting each other. And I deeply and completely accept all parts of me no matter what they do.
Getting together
Finding new ways to work together
That are safer and healthier
And a lot more fun
Than battling
Thanking them for their hard work in the past
And even more for their work in the future
When they do it differently
Pause, Have a drink of water and check your scale of resistance.
As you tapped you may have noticed some lovely tail enders coming up from the parts that don't want you to move forward. Write them down and then tap on them. E.G.
ET people will think the flyer's rubbish
ET They'll judge me
ET no one will read them
ET I might be overwhelmed by work
When any tail enders are cleared go back to working with the parts. You can use the same statements as before, or change them if that fits better. Keep tapping and checking. You might be very surprised what comes up and even more surprised at the results!
Article on Self sabotage
