Is money your enemy or your friend?

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Witch hazel and snowdrops in December, isn’t it amazing?

A GIFT TO GET YOUR NEW YEAR OFF TO A GOOD START:)                           Knowing that anyone interested in my money programs webinar is likely to have money issues🙂 my new years gift to you is £70 from the price of the webinar series, if you book before the 5th January. That means that you get 3 sessions of 2 hours, working with me, for just £127 and if you have to miss a session you’ll get a recording. Can you afford to miss it?:)

Hi Folks,

I hope you’ve had a good holiday time, whether you were alone or with others.

For me it was a family get together, and we had fun with only marginal gritted teeth. 🙂 It was interesting to know that the only person I still have problems with, (and I really thought it wouldn’t be the case this year!) managed to press my buttons again.

I took some time to work out why and I realise that she exhibits the behaviour that I wasn’t allowed to, when I was 2 and that by the time I was 4 a very watered down version of that behaviour created a whole trauma for me. I realised that my little girl was still stamping her feet and saying it’s not fair. How can she do it and not me and of course there’s the added bonus of beating myself up because I “should” be above all of that by now!!! (sigh)

So I thank her for letting me know what I’m still holding onto and next year will be different:)

It was so lovely to see how different my relationship with my sons and my mother is now and to know that it’s never too late to create good relationships, whether the people are here with us or not.

If you have “stuff” hanging round from the holiday time, give me a ring, or an email (jacqui@jacquicrooks.com) and we can book in a session to clear it, so that you don’t have to carry it for the whole year and then next year will be different for you too:). Now wouldn’t that be a great gift to yourself. 

Since Christmas I’ve been having fun planning my next webinar on clearing old money “stuff.” Money Programs and creating new, healthy ones.

It’s amazing what you learn about yourself when you go through this process and I love tracing the journey that I’ve taken and what I learnt, so that I can share the learning with the people on the call.

The main thing I learnt was that I decided who I was and my relationship with money based on what the people around me said. I took comments as instructions and created a whole rule book around them and never questioned it. It just was! It didn’t matter that it didn’t make sense, or that there was no need for things to be like that, that was what I was told so I did it!! 

One of the classics was being told that money burned a hole in my pocket, so I’ve made sure that it does. A beautiful image a colleague came up with when I was working on this was my little girl shaking an upside down money box to make sure there was absolutely nothing left! And I know there have been times when I had money and could feel the anxiety of it being there. I had to get rid of it as soon as possible, it was too big a burden. I had to decide what to do with it. Should I share it, if so with who and how much and what if it wasn’t enough. (No wonder I don’t buy lottery tickets, imagine the angst!!) Money was definitely my enemy rather than my friend!

And it all linked back to 4 years old and being told I was greedy because I didn’t share my sweets.( I was too busy being excited I think:) )

I wonder what your money rules are? What’s your story? I’d love to know. You could email me and I could use them to create a tapalong on money for next week:)

And meanwhile, heres an interview I did with Tania Prince on “money stuff” including a tapalong.

If you’d like to clear your money rules, and change your money story, why not join me on Money programs, creating new, healthy ones. 

 It starts on the 8th of January and remember I have offered you a £70 gift if you book before January the 5th:) x

A GIFT TO GET YOUR NEW YEAR OFF TO A GOOD START:)

With love from Jacqui

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Little Jack Horner, sat in his corner…….

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Hi Folks,

I’ve just been reminded of this nursery rhyme……

Little Jack Horner, sat in his corner, eating his Christmas pie,                                           He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum and said what a good boy am i!

….by a friend who was talking about Abraham and the Law of attraction. One of the things she said to me really struck home. She said that from all the things available in the universe for us, we all make our own pies, (our own lives). We can admire other peoples pies, we can see how beautiful they are, or not and the only pie we can stick our thumb into is ours! When we see someone doing something we don’t approve of, when we think that we know what will work for someone better than they do, it’s good to remember, it’s not my pie! It’s not my job to stick my thumb in there and if it’s uncomfortable for me, maybe there’s something in my pie I can change, so I feel better. It was such a relief for me, it was such a great metaphor. When I think I could offer advice, or suggestions, or solutions, I can remind myself, it’s not my pie!

“Even though I decided as a small child that it was my job to find solutions for people to make them happy, I’m open to the possibility that it’s really their job and my job is to find ways to be happy myself.” 🙂

I was saying on the last of the EFT masterclasses on Saturday, that we have no idea of the path others came here to tread. We don’t know what their life plan is, so we can’t know what’s best for them. What they “should” do. As therapists,we support our clients, we’re with them on the journey and it’s OK to trust them to make the choices that are right for them. And I wonder what it would be like if we trusted ourselves too? 🙂

How often I find myself blaming myself for the decisions I’ve made, the way I do things, the choices I make and yet, when I allow myself to take a step back I know that it’s all perfect and that everything will work out fine. If I had even half as much compassion for myself as I do for the rest of the world, life would be very different! And I can do it and I have done it and sometimes I just forget and go back into the old “bad girl” place and maybe that’s OK too:)

We had a wonderful few weeks with the Masterclass online, working together, learning new ways of doing things, new viewpoints, clearing issues while we learned and supporting each other.

If you prefer live workshops, I’m offering the same program, EFT masterclasses, as day workshops, starting 10/1/15. I’d love it if you could join me as we support each other in being the best that we can be in work and play:)

Here’s what one person said about the classes .:)

Thank you for your lovely work and that you’ve shared that with us. You radiate that energy of love every time  I see you. I’ve learned again to trust my clients, to be in that state of love and to sit back. 
Thank you so much.”

With love from Jacqui

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Letting go of the tick lists!

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Letting go of the tick lists! Tapalong video

Hi Folks,

It’s that time of year again! If you’re in the western world Christmas is coming…faster and faster it seems:)

And with it comes all sorts of “stuff.” The stuff that we picked up from childhood, the stresses of creating a “perfect Christmas,” and spending time with people that you choose not to spend time with for the rest of the year:)

I love Christmas. I was lucky, as a child, it was magical, partly because my Dad loved it so much and made it special. It didn’t mean that there wasn’t “stuff” going on, but mostly we weren’t aware of it and the magic of being with people we loved, grandparents, aunts and uncles and them having a good time together made us feel secure, safe and happy and we got to see cousins we didn’t see the rest of the year.

When  my Dad died, 2 weeks before my first son was born, I took over Christmas for him! No one asked me to, or expected it, but I decided that was what he wanted and I did my best. If you want to see someone trying to create the perfect Christmas, trying to make everyone happy whether they wanted to be happy or not, a video of me at that time would show you what that looks like:) I have such compassion for the me that I was then, grieving and trying to look after a new baby and a grieving Mum and Gran and get my Dad’s love and approval by doing what I decided he wanted! My poor husband didn’t get a look in!

I hand made everything we ate, puddings, Christmas cake, mince pies, deserts, all my Christmas cards and some of the presents. And still Christmas wasn’t the same without Dad.

Over the last few years of tapping I’ve managed to set myself free of most of that. This is the first year I have given myself permission not to make the Christmas puddings and it feels great (and somewhat naughty. ) There is a part of me that’s still not certain that it’s allowed and hopes my mum won’t ask me:)

Yesterday I put up my Christmas tree. It’s the biggest I’ve ever had, (and the prickliest!) and I’ve been so looking forward to doing it and then I realised part way through that I was rushing it to get to the next thing on my list. Christmas tree decorating had become another thing to tick off! What’s the point of doing fun things if they just add to your stress?  It made me stop and think, (and tap). I have loved the flurry of activity I’ve been creating recently, I love connecting with you more and doing the tapalongs and creating new programs and I’d allowed my enthusiasm to tip me over into an old “busy, busy” pattern. When I’m in that space, (such an old one borrowed from my mum)  I will create things to be busy about, I do a great hamster on it’s wheel impression and I needed to remind my subconscious that it’s not a useful strategy and it isn’t even mine and that it would be more useful to enjoy each thing I do, as I do it.

It seems to have worked, because I’ve enjoyed making the video and writing the blog today and I’ve saved the rest of the decorating until I have time to enjoy it.

So…. I did a tapalong for you on letting go of the tick lists and living in each moment. I hope it’s helpful if you’re going into Christmas stress, or indeed any other stressful place where your strategy has been to put your head down and keep going.

And of course, if you need more specific help with this, or anything else,email me at jacqui@jacquicrooks.com to book a one to one session and we can clear what’s really going on for you, that’s stopping you enjoying your life right here and now.

Have fun tapping and I hope you enjoy life more, whatever you’re doing:)

With love from Jacqui

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Letting go of guilt ….. are we allowed?!

 

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Hi Folks,

Thanks for the birthday wishes last Saturday, I had a lovely day.

I took my mum Christmas shopping in the morning and did the webinar on Ancestral patterns in the afternoon (It’s Rebirthing this Saturday if you’d like to join us?) and then went out with the family in the evening for dinner, plus a few skype calls too, so a thoroughly lovely day.

Interesting too as I discovered that I was still holding onto some of my “bad mother” guilt.

I’ve done a lot of work on it since someone said to me that in holding on to the guilt, I was keeping the kids in the role of victim.

 That was a complete revelation to me, I’d obviously decided that the only way I could make it up to the kids was to be guilty for the rest of my life. Isn’t it interesting how we can decide things like that? I know it came from my childhood, when I could never be guilty enough for someone in my life and because I learnt that and made that decision so early on, I’ve never had chance to look at it and see if it’s helpful, it just is!

That comment stopped me in my tracks and gave me the opportunity to look at what was going on and decide to do it differently and I have, to a large extent and my relationship with the kids is so much better.

And then over dinner I found myself saying that I was looking forward to grandkids, so I could be with them as I hadn’t been able to be with my kids. The girlfriends understood what I meant, and my boys just curled up their toes in embarrassmentJ Amazingly, they say I was OK as a mum and while I don’t believe them……yet……I am becoming more open to the possibility that I may not have been as bad as I thought and that sometimes things were great and it may even be the guilt about the times that weren’t, that has grown those times into something so huge I can‘t see the good stuff for it. Maybe as I clear the next guilt layer I’ll get even more into the good times we had and that will be so much more fun for all of us. And that’s a gift I can give my kids now, rather than wait for Grandkids to appear to prove I’m different!! J

When we can see guilt as just a message that something needs clearing, rather than something to stay stuck with, a message rather than a state of being, it’s much easier to let go of.

So for anyone else out there that’s holding onto guilt, here’s a tapalong.

I’d love to hear how you let go of guilt 🙂  jacqui@jacquicrooks.com

With love from Jacqui

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