I borrowed that title from Annabel Fisher, a lovely EFTer who after 3 years treatment for recurring cancer has decided to stop treatment and grab life with both hands, for the time she has left. She’s such an inspiration.
Wouldn’t life be extraordinary if we could allow ourselves to do that right now, rather than at the end of our life? I’ve been reminded of the importance of that, the last couple of years. First my mother and cousin died and this year, my father in law and my brother. It made me really focus on life in the moment and what’s really important to me. There are so many “shoulds” we’re brought up to believe in, so many dutiful things to do, that we often let our own dreams and desires go. We think we’ll pick them up at some time in the future, when we’ve done all the things we think we “ought” to do first. And let me tell you, no matter how many of those things you do, the list never gets any smaller. There’s always more to do, before you can get to your own stuff.
And of course, what I find for myself, is that I’m not always sure what I really want. I’ve got so used to shutting those thoughts and feelings off, putting things onto the back burner, not thinking what I might want to do/be/create, in case I get resentful, that even when I give myself space, I find myself standing there wondering what I’m supposed to do!!
Mum lived a long and full life and I know there were many things she didn’t allow herself to do, because she didn’t think it would be ok, she wasn’t sure what people would think. My brother, I’m realising now, did much more of the things he wanted, travelling, creating a business and finally, buying himself the wood that he’d wanted since a child. He had a whole year in it, with a glorious summer and I’m so happy that he did that, as it would have been so easy for him to have put it off. (Procrastination was the family game:) )
As for me, I finally allowed myself to dream and live the dream for several years and then I noticed I was slowly closing down, allowing myself to get smaller and less adventurous, to “settle” for what I thought was possible, or achievable, rather than really be my out there self. It’s been a journey, watching myself, noticing what I was doing, tapping, tapping, tapping and as always, this is a journey, not a pass and fail and I’m part way along it. I’m in a very comfortable position right now, with a house and garden that I love, ( I had no idea that would be so important to me:) ) and I’ve had a breathing space, time to balance after all the loss and change. I have no idea at the moment, what’s next and I do know, listening to myself and what makes me feel good, what lights me up, is my inner guidance system and I’m practising listening to it much more than I ever have.
This is the beginning of the rest of my life and I intend to grab it with both hands and also to know that doesn’t necessarily mean I have to rush around doing things. When I’m in the garden, watching the flowers growing, looking at the flames of the fire, watching the hedgehog, I’m present. I’m really living in the moment, living my life. Thats what I want more of, being present to what is. knowing I’m happy, in the moment, rather than remembering that I was happy, when I look back!
I invite you to take some time to tune in to what makes you happy in the moment, because those moments are all we know we have. The more we do that, the greater the sum of happiness we feel.
If you’d like some support in tuning into what’s important to you, allowing yourself to dream, I’m running a one day retreat called Manifesting – turning your dreams into reality, on 8th September. (Because we always teach what we need to learn, don’t we:) ) I’d love you to join me and lets see what we can create together:)